Have you ever done something in your life where at the time you thought it was a good idea, and then for whatever reason, you realized it was a mistake?
Ever said something wrong, or out of context, thought about or judged someone poorly without having all the facts?
Ever thought something, believed in a concept, or stood for a value only to have changed your mind down the road?
Eh? Hmmmm? Yah, me too…more times than I dare count.
I think of all the times I have made mistakes, both little and huge, some complete life alternating mistakes. Now, think about yours for a minute…
What stands out most in your mind?
Well, what stands out most in my mind is that I would not be here, be the person I am today if not for making such errors in judgement. And, to tell the truth, the graver the error or, the more times I had to make the error, the greater the lesson.
I know that I did the best I could each time I was making the decisions, errors, mistakes. I didn’t intentionally hurt people on purpose. Well, sometimes, when I was hurting very badly, I did. I lashed out and, the more I suffered, the harder I hit. I am learning ways to open up to my pain, address my choices, make amends for my mistakes, for hurting people and for hurting myself.
When I think about what is going on with people I know and even people I don’t know but see in the media, I try to think on this level. I consider:
Each time I hear about or see someone badmouthing, slandering and judging another, I think that the person who is badmouthing must be in pain. Just like I was when I spoke out of turn about another. At the time I didn’t know it, but a lot of self-reflection and honesty has shown me that all of my aggression and hatred, even passivity, is due to my own internal issues about myself. Our external world is a mirror of our internal world. The more aggression we see and the more aggressive we are outwardly, the more aggression is raging internally.
When I hear what someone, anyone, a friend, a family member, a stranger, a politician, has or hasn’t done properly, I realize that, that person has lessons they need to learn, just like I do when I make mistakes. Sometimes people were able to tell me that I am making a mistake, but most times, I just bulldozed my way forward with my eyes, ears and heart closed till, I hit a wall or exhausted myself. Anyone come to mind when you consider people in your life, or on the media that acts like that?
I remember that we are all in this thing called ‘life’ together. To use someone else’s quote, “ain’t none of us gittin’ out alive.” Or, more succinctly, without our bodies and egos…:) So why not support each other instead of having a hate-on? Why not extend compassion and kindness to ourselves and others who are obviously facing serious daily challenges? Why contribute to anger and judgement with more anger and judgement? I have learned that when I spend time focusing on other people it is a way to AVOID looking at myself. In fact, as soon as I start to hone in and become critical of someone else, I ask myself, “What is going on inside of me that I am avoiding?” The focus comes off the other and goes back where it should be, on me.
Everything is energy, both love and hatred. When it strikes me to respond I always try to ask myself, “Which would I rather expend, love energy or hate energy? ” I know it always comes back to me. I have a choice and now I try to choose wisely. When I feel anything other than love towards someone, I sit and send them love, as much love as I can. That way, I am giving the best of myself and I can only hope that it is received. I have learned that disliking and hating others hurts me more than them.
Every time I exert energy there is a chain reaction, for every single action there is a consequence. Knowing that everything I do causes a reaction what sort of effects do I want to be responsible for? After having been a very reactive person for a very long time, I realized how much of my self destructive behaviours affected not only myself but other people in my life. For the past several years, my life motto has been: To go through life with the least amount of collateral damage to anyone or anything, ever. My life has changed in amazing ways, ways I never dreamed.
I need love more than I need hate. Every living being needs love more than it needs hate. Love helps us grow better, healthier, more quickly. Hatred causes pain and kills. We always have a choice what we invest in. I need invest wisely for I want to continue to grow and learn, lovingly and painlessly.
People who make the biggest mistakes can learn and teach the greatest lessons. Interfering with the journey only extends the lesson. Ever tried to take a bottle from a loved one who is drinking themselves to death? Patience is called a virtue for a reason. It is so very hard to practice but oh, so very rewarding once mastered. Some people teach us lessons just by our observing. We don’t have to actively participate in their lives. Often, I will ask myself, “What does this person or this event, have to teach me, what is my lesson in this?” The answer always comes, as long as I am focusing on myself, not the other.
There is so much going on in the world right now that impacts us all. We all have choices about how we participate in it, no matter where we are or who we are with. Yes, even stuff that happens in other geographical areas, all over the world. Social media has made us Global Participants whether we want to be or not. Each time we log on we are actively participating in other people’s lives.
We are connected in so many ways, ways that are visible and ways that are invisible. That is powerful. So powerful. Each one of us is so powerful, we have no idea. We need use our power wisely.
Please feel free to like, share and comment…:)
©Judi Risser We Are All Awakening